The alien sat on her chest, idly picking at his ragged cuticles. He wasn’t as heavy as you might think and she found that his smooth, grey body was lifting and dropping with each of her labored breaths. Rather than being frightened, she felt awkward – as if the two of them had been set up by some low quality, interstellar dating service. She couldn’t stop staring at him but he seemed to want to look anywhere but at her. His eyes, dark like wet river rock, focused intently on his fingernails. Once and a while the massive orbs would narrow as if the state of his manicure annoyed him and he’d lift his nail back up to chew away. Should she say something? When she had woken up out of her deep sleep, she assumed it was her cat that lay across her chest. He weighed about the same and seemed to generate the same level of heat. Something made her open her eyes however and now here she was, held captive under the strange grey buttocks of an alien. It sighed, seemingly giving up on his nails and looked up at the ceiling.
“ I just don’t want to anymore.” He spoke, his wide slit of a mouth moving with an eerie grace. His voice was incredibly sad, authorative, slightly effeminate – it was the voice of a depressed flight steward.
“Don’t want to do what.” She asked
“This. I don’t want this. I should’ve read the contract more. Now I’m the one who’s going to look irresponsible.” She shifted her weight slightly but the alien remained perfectly perched. “ I knew I should’ve sucked it up and stayed at the desk job.” It turned its head to look directly at her and her breath caught in her throat. He really was quite beautiful – Like a Boston terrier, a Salmon and a human went a few minutes in a genetic blender. “ Ugh.” He said, reaching out to touch her face. “Just Ugh. I am not a hands-on kind of guy, y’know. Some people love it. Some of the guys get off on the whole abduction/test thing but I don’t. I really don’t.” She tried not to be offended, but it was hard with the way his shimmering nose was wrinkled in distaste as he examined her. “ I can’t get the smell off me when I get home.” Now she was offended.
“What smell! What a terrible thing to say.”
“You guys smell. Like meat or something. It’s a sweet…”His long fingers circled in the air as if he could pluck the word out, “ Sweet kind of rotten meat and leaves odor. Not pleasant.” Her cheeks were flushed were he was gently poking her skin, his lips curled
“So quit! Don’t blame me for the fact you don’t like your job. Quit! What’s stopping you?” His eyes widened more and seemed for a moment to encompass his entire face. She thought she could see tiny, needle like teeth emerging as he smiled.
“What’s stopping me is a family, two children and a wife who doesn’t like to fall behind in the who’s got what game, if you know what I mean.” He moved suddenly forward, laying one hand against her forehead. It was cold, but seemed to pass a strange electric charge under her skin. His face was inches from hers. “ I was going to be a painter, y’know. I saw things differently. That stopped somewhere along the way. Somewhere my ability to make things up just disappeared.” She thought of her own children sleeping in the other room and the boxes of unfinished manuscripts above their heads in the attic, sleeping just as soundly. She found herself looking in his eyes, directly, for the first time.
“You make sacrifices.” She said. “You have to. But it’s supposed to come back sooner or later.” The needle teeth shone in the darkness, row upon row of them
“You think?” She thought she saw a bit of moisture begin to well in those massive eyes of his, collect in the vibrating slits of what passed as a nose.
“I do. It will come back. We just have to hang on.”
“You really don’t smell that bad.” She felt a flood of relief
“No, I’ve smelled a helluva lot worse.”
The Ken Spivey Band will be returning for a second time to Dragon*Con. We will be performing Sunday at 4pm in the Macon Room of the Downtown Atlanta Sheraton.
Ken Spivey will also be appearing on many panels over the course of the convention as a visiting professional. Panel schedule tba.
I’m pretty picky about my ghosts and monsters. I think anyone who has been a fan of the genre since, well…birth, would be. I’d hate to see my brain as a pie chart and how much of it would be devoted to bunk supernatural knowledge. I’m sure it would dwarf the part that handled useful things like math and remembering where I put my house keys.
I have to admit I was a little critical when I sat my jaded bottom down on the couch to start the UK version of Being Human. It’s television after all, I told myself. How good can it be? I had my eyebrow arched for a good twenty minutes after it started. Harrumph, I grumbled. Do your best. Impress me. I’ll watch one episode, I told myself, and then I’ll switch to something else.
I ended up watching a continual stream of episodes. I have to admit, the ‘situational early twenties comedy’ bits I noticed in the first few episodes were a tiny bit grating. The chemistry between the actors seemed forced and I couldn’t get past John the Vampire’s hairline (no one ever said it wasn’t shallow…) However, the idea behind the series is one of the most unique things I’ve seen in a while. I found the writing improved as the series carried on and new characters were introduced, making me forget about my misgivings and get caught up instead in the dramas of the ‘supernatural underworld’. One thing still bothers me…Vampires and Werewolves are unquestionably popular these due to what can only be accredited to sex appeal. Perhaps they represent two archetypes of masculinity that we as a culture find attractive – the brooding, secretive male and the explosive, tortured one. I suppose that out of all the legendary spooky characters, these are perhaps the most charismatic and closest to human. However, one can’t help but feel sorry for the other monsters that didn’t break into Hollywood due to their distinct lack of ‘hotness’ and creepy magnetism. I challenge someone out there start an Internet campaign to establish the Creature from the Black Lagoon as the new, supernatural heartthrob. Those wide hands, dreamy eyes and subtly fluttering gills – sparkling vampires be damned! Just give him a teen-friendly makeover and his own Facebook page and we can make it work! Team CFTBL!!
I hate to pull the gender card here, but I’ve always wondered if Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell and the entire Evil Dead series were strictly a Y chromosome obsession. In my self imposed education as a horror genre freak, I watched the Evil Dead films and was unimpressed. There is a place for terrible special effects and over acting; I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m certainly not above loving camp for camp’s sake. However, I found parts of the original Evil Dead to be offensive and alienating for my gender. I mean…. really…a vine assaults a girl? Really? However, when I discovered recently that Raimi wrote the script for the movie when he was eighteen, it made much more sense. If we were all judged by ideas we believed to be shocking and important when we were that age, the world would be an overly dramatic and generally horrifying place. Oh wait…
I love horror but when it stoops below the line of taste to become gratuitous or sexually violent, I generally call it quits. When I learned that Raimi and Bruce Campbell are joining their C-list horror forces to remake Evil Dead, I have to admit I was a little skeptical. Sure, there’s a lot of room for improvement in terms of digital animation and effects, but what about the script? Could they give it some depth? Could they ignore depth and make it amusing enough that it doesn’t matter? Raimi’s opinions on the upcoming remake don’t give me a lot of hope. In a recent interview with Collider magazine, Raimi stated that the rating for the film was going to be “definitely R. Maybe worse. (…) It’s really bloody. It’s so bloody, it will make your head spin. I’ve seen almost all the dailies and they’re really going for it. It’s gonna be grisly and intense and non-stop.”
Grisly, intense and non-stop is not necessarily how I want to spend two or more hours. I may be aging myself here, but I’m finding the line between frightening and disgusting being blurred as the years pass. The original film was slightly offensive and I can’t imagine how making it more so is going to improve it any more. Have they considered ramping up the plot and dialogue quality rather than the shock value? Did anyone sit back and say, “Hey, y’know, this script really kind of sucks, lets make it smart and eerie. Let’s get under people’s skin with the whole thing. Make them think…”
Oops. Just caught myself. It’s the Evil Dead. It’s Sam Raimi. We’re not looking at a remake of The Changeling or Ghost Story. We’re not talking about high literature and accomplished filmmaking. One must take it for what it is. We’re talking about the director of Darkman here and he should be appreciated for his lack of pretension and prolific career. I’m just hoping that the remake of his 18 year old passion project won’t reflect how desensitized our culture has become. Heck, I’m afraid to watch the original Evil dead again. What if I laugh when the girl gets violated as opposed to being shocked? Does that make me part of the blood hungry crowd that wants an adrenaline rush as opposed to a script?
There seems to be nothing but remakes these days and sadly, I seem to end up watching most of them. There’s no doubt that I’ll watch the revamped Evil Dead when it’s released – with my husband in the house, I doubt I’ll have a choice. I just can’t stop my silly hoping that they’ll somehow find a key to make it smarter, make it funnier and for god sake, make it scarier without making it offensive.
As promised here is our tentative scehdule for Dragon*Con: Please note that our Schedule is subject to change.
6:30 pm DragonCon’s BritTrack Hosts 3rd Annual Pre-Con Dinner at Haveli’s
9:00 AM Tha Pandorica Opens: Welcome to the Britrack
10:00 AM Torchwood: Inside the Actor’s Gaff
11:30 AM Bit of a Chat with Sylvestor McCoy
2:30 PM Villains in the Potterverse
4:00 PM Big Damn Heroes!
5:30 PM Number One
10:00 AM Brit TV You Should Be Watching…
1:00 PM Archaeology in the Realiverse
2:30 PM Creating Warehouse 13 and the Agents
4:00 PM Gate Summit Three
5:30 PM James Bond at 50 Years
1:00 PM Sanctuary – Up from Hollow Earth
2:30 pm 25TH Century Superstars: Gil Gerard or Spike & Drusilla
4:00 PM Time Lord Fest with the Ken Spivey Band
7:00 PM Doctor Who New series Analysis
9:00 PM Being Human and Yule Ball
10:00 AM Eureka – Exodus
1:00 PM Every Doctor Who